**Waring HUGE RANT might not want to read**

Just to start I will be whining bitching and moaning so if you do not want to read feel free to leave I will never know lol...

Ok I have never been one to make a big deal out of my b-day. I do not start a month early dropping hints to everyone I know. My co-works have no idea. I dont even have it showing on FB. I just dont care. I dont want gifts if I want things I just buy them myself. I know I will get a present from my grandma. My sister always buys me something very nice that I know she really couldnt afford, (makes me feel even worse) and a call. and my mom usually calls that day or within the week depending on if she forgets. This is fine with me. it is how it has been for years and it works. My hubby is not good with dates and bdays I know this. and again I am fine with it. I tend to secretly make plans with myself just to have my own special day. This year it was going to be Italian chicken and rice pilofe for dinner. My BKEs were to arrive from ebay and a lllooonnnnggg hot bath to end the day.

I need to start on thursday night cause this is were it all started. Like I posted my steps sons baby was born and I only got to see him for a few minutes on thursday night before I was going to get in trouble with the babysitter for being to late, so I planed on running home cooking dinner really quick and grabbing the grandpa so we could run back up there. Well since my hubby thinks his friends are the most important thing he has we never made it to see the babe. He went to the bar and was very insistent I do not go. This got my paranoia running wild and I ended up at the bar about an hour after he left. Nothing really bad but just some small what I would call flirting (he disagreed) with a really ugly chick he works with. I leave the bar at 12 cause I had to work friday and guess what time he got home 4am a freaking clock??? FYI our bars close at 2 am. I was not all that freaking happy he has been doing this a lot lately and I am trying really hard not to read into it.
So at around 10ish friday morning he called me at work to wish me a happy bday I was very short with him due to what time he got home. hung up the phone and started feeling bad about the call. I mean after all he did remember to call right?? So I text me that i was sorry and thanked him for the bday wish. Later that day I got a text from him telling me he was going to take me to dinner and we were going to go see the baby. I was very excited usually I make the plans and he just goes along. I decided to order the kids pizza no scene in cooking for them and then going out. I got home a little before 6 walked around the shop and yard looking for him ( both his trucks were there) but he was not home. No biggy I thought to myself I will just start getting ready it takes me longer than him any ways. As I walked in the house I grabbed a beer and my brother was calling so I started talking to him. He was at my moms so she told me happy b-day on time for the first time in years lol. So talked to them for like 45 minutes, when I got off I wanted to try on my new pants. Now mind you these pants were a present to myself they were suppose to fit! when I searched for them I typed in my size not the size I want to be, not my skinny day size MY SIZE. so I head to my daughters room lazy and dont want to go down stair I attempted to put them on. it took forever to get them to my hips and there was no way on gods green earth they were going any farther. I started to feel like shit OMG what the hell I bought 29's my 28's are tight but they fit. So I prey them off of me and look at the tag 25's??? WTF I thought for sure they had just sent the wrong size i got on ebay to look the post over. NO the dumb bitch decided she knew more than the BKE company used a tape measure to size the jeans. In her defense she did post this stupid statement at the end of her sale page. So getting a little pissed due to no hubby and it is after 7:30 and nothing to wear now I grab another beer (I might have actually been on 3 or 4 at this time not sure). Phone rings again it is my sis I needed to vent a bit so I answered it. talking cry yelling and drinking I finally hear a car pull by yep it is my hubby and hey it is only 8:30 at night now. Oh and I had a lot to drink by this point. he walks onto the back porch and ask if I am ready. I told him that I was not going. I was a little mad a lot drunk and not going. he told me he was working and that I was being a bitch that he had to run up the road and be back later I told him fine. So since everything else was going wrong in my day I decided to salvage it with the lllooonnnggg hot bath i planed for myself. FYI when you are already drunk DO NOT sit in a bath full of water that is at least 100 degrees and drink 2 more beers. lol So after my bath I decided to get a few things off my chest.

Here is a little foreshadowing... My hubby has remembered my bday 3 times in 16 years. The first time...First year we were dating. My friends and I planed a big party/fire out in a field close to our house hubby got mad at me for something not sure just now we were fighting. He went around to all our friends and any one he thought I had invited and told them the party had been moved. needless to say no one came to the house everyone believed him, Second time...We live in a small town not a lot of restaurants and things dont stay open to late. He again was going to take me to dinner but something (cant really remember what) happened and we got all dressed up and ended up eating at the drive end in the car. and this time was the third and if you are still with me well you know how this one ended.

So after my bath I headed up stairs and I just laid into him. I told him he was free and clear of ever having anything to do with my bday ever again. I did not even what to hear those words out of his mouth. I also told him that if he was out working with someone fine but I figured I deserved a text or call letting me know that (he claims he told me the day before). I got a few other things off my chest, we yelled, talked I cried a lot which I hardly ever do must have been all the beer lol. We went to bed. I am a bit better now still really hurt that I let myself get excited for my bday and then let myself get hurt because of it. I dont hate him just hurt. As far as the pants go I gave them to my daughter and I had Italian chicken Saturday night.

If you read all the way though this thanks and sorry it was so long. I will post later.