Where the hell did this P&B fest come from

Sorry this might be very triggering read with coution.

I am completely embarrassed with myself right now. I was going to go to the store for some rice cakes and maybe a small plate of fruit or veggies for lunch. And for some reason I bought sweet and sour pork and 2 egg rolls, a LARGE brownie from the bakery, a bag of rice cakes, and have managed to eat it all and then throw it all up. I hate when I do this. I cant stand to have the food in my stomach it reminds me how truly week I am. Now my throat and stomach hurt so bad and I just want to go home. When I get home I will be taking 3 colon cleaning tablets to help with the major fuck up I did today good god I am discussing!! I was not even rally hungry so I have no idea why I thought I needed to do this. I hate that once I start eating I cant stop sometimes. :(

I wanted to share this with you all. I am still researching EDNOS fact or fiction. Sometimes I just dont get it but the What Not to Say to Someone with an ED is pretty good.

 http://christianelaird.hubpages.com/hub/What-NOT-to-Say-to-Someone-with-an-Eating-Disorder

Where does the time go??

I come here all the time prepared to give an update let poeple know what is going on, but I always want to check in with you guys first and end up posting and getting side tracked my my update never happens lol.

So quiting smiking is not a complete success yet up I have to say I feel like I am doing pretty good. It is really hard cause hubby still smokes and then lets not forget that I also like to drink and what is a beer with out a ciggerett that is like hamburger without fries lol. Uh what else. Oh yea my step son is off to prison for 3 years because he slept with a girl that was 16 yr and 9 months old. In the state I am from 17 is age of concent. She told a bunch of lies also about being abused and stuff. Grandparents are doing better I am so happy about that cause I love them so much!!

I think I might be buying an elipitcal tomorrow night, people make me laugh I ran into the guy that is selling it yesterday on my way to work and was setting up a time to head over to his house, he looked at me and said why the hell do you need an eliptiacl look at yea...I kinda chuckled but thought to myself you think this comes easy. Hell no!!! I skip meals get up at 4:30 am to get a work out in decide is it will be beer or food for dinner. I mean people just do not have a clue. I realize 90% of people buy something like that and it just sits there as their ass gets fatter but I am cheap and if I am going to spend $250.00 on something that bitch will be wore out in no time lol.
I am really pissed that I can not file my taxes till the 15th due to that stupid collage tax credit thing I mean are you freaking kiddin me it is my money give it back. Our government is really starting to scare the shit out of me!! They will think when I go into the HR office and claim 9 on my w-4 form and they get no taxes any more then I just stop filing lol. No I am kiddin I would never dare do that cause you can bet the IRS would be knocking at my door in no time!! Ok I am off to do some work cause I just realized that the end of the month is in 2 days and since I am in account that is bad. Hope you all are doing good and talk later.

Oh Monday????

So I did not get my measurements taken because friday night I ended up calling an ambulance for my grandpa because he was in so much pain I could not get him to the car. His pneumonia has came gave and is damaging his lung. I am now trying to quit smoking, in 40 years I do not want that to be me. I have been using my e-cig and hope to wing myself off that soon. I think I have done pretty good. I always use the excuse I dont want to gain weight but really I know many people that have quit and did not gain much weigh after so that is going to be me :)
WinterA I look forward to your guys comments do ever thing you have over stepped a line. I do not know what my daughters problem is except she wants to be a grown up. she is the middle child and sees what her brothers (almost 18 and almost 22) do and I guess she figures that at 14 she can do it to and we fight. She does play her dad and I which causes tension between us. Sometimes I think she wants us to leave each other so she can live with him and then lord knows what will happen to her. She also has friends without a lot of parental supervision and she thinks I should be more like them.
Everyone else thanks for the concern about my grandparents it is nice to hear. We are working though it. Since I admitted him friday night he is doing much better and hopefully is seeing that if he does not take care for himself he will be suck in there forever.
Not much else to write about, it is starting to warm up on -5 this morning so here hoping for better weather lol. so I am going to go catch up on blogs take care ladies and talk later.

Just a Quicky

Ok so I have paid my $20.00 and weighed in 146.8. Ok I have to admit I cheated a little lol. Nothing serious I just wore really heavy clothes today and at like a cow most the morning. I just want to see some progress. Oh and I forgot to bitch about how incredibly cold it has been here. it has not been above -14 in the mornings for a week and right now at 2:00 pm our high is 10 yea 10 freakin degrees got to love livin in the Rockeys lol

Day 4 of 2013

Well my year is starting off with a bang. My grandma had surgery on her elbow the friday before christmas. It got staph infection in it. our hospital was trying to get it under control but they couldnt so they shipped her to another hospital out of town. This is great for her but bad for my grandpa. Like I said before he is just not the same since his car accident and some times I wonder where he went. It is so hard to see him like this. The man that I have looked up to. taught me to ride a bike, work hard drive and walked me down the isle is now reverting back to a two year old all from a freakin bump on the head. Come on it is bad enough my real dad was taken from me at 2 now the only man I have ever loved is mentally leaving me too??? I realize that he is 75 and this day was coming and soon I will not have him at all but seeing him leave us like this is just heart breaking.Since my grandma has been gone my aunt and I have been pulling double time checking on him. This morning I just wanted to cry. I walked in and he was just sitting on the couch. No oxygen on with we continual bitch at him about. he had every light and TV on. I went to his room to get his oxygen and could here a funny noise he had the heater turned up to 80 and my grandmas hair dryer full blast laying on the floor??? What is going though his mind? god I wish I could help him he looks so lost and alone where ever he is. We have also learned from his home health care nurse that some of his meds are not suppose to be mixed with other meds that he has been given yep we are getting that figured out right damn fast. my aunt is taking him in today. I will be taking him up to see my grandma tomorrow I hope that helps both of them.

Ok so now that I am done whining about things I can not change lets move on to my weight another thing I can not change lol. The salon I go to is having another beginning of the year weight loss challenge. I will go weigh in on my lunch break this year I will work much much harder than I did last year. I am also getting this juice stuff from bolthouse and that will be most of my calorie intake for the next 12 weeks. I will let you know what I weighed and I think I am going to take my 2013 measurements tomorrow, hubby has been home since the first of the year so I have not had time to do it. Hope things are going well with all of you. nice to see some of you are back loved reading update post. Take care and lots of love all.