Thanks :)

First I just want to say thanks for the great comments. It was very nice to read them and gave me a bit of confidence that was needed. I cant say thanks enough!

Now for the boot camp thing I was talking about, the lady that does it had a few ladies drop out and since her dad is having neck surgery she was not having one at the end of May like planed but told me I could join the last 3 weeks of this one. I jumped at the chance. It only cost me $100.00 and will hopefully give me some new ideas on exercises to help keep me where I want to be. Last night was a bit hard. She has been pushing the rest of the class for 2 weeks so there I was kinda struggling to keep up but she was very encouraging. I also came across a squat challenge on FB so will be doing that also. She has a nutrition plan but looking over that I just can not eat that much I mean REALLY people. Not sure if I will get the resolute I was hoping for but that is just to much food in one day. I thought she was going to take my measurements last night but didnt so I took everything this morning. Heres where I stand at the beginning of this journey...
Weight   144.8 (Still working off Vegas lol)
Right Thigh   21 1/2
Left Thigh     21 1/2
Hip               36
Waist            30 ( I am a bit bloated for some reason I can see it :( )
Found a web site and it says that my body fat is 26.2% GROSS!!!

So on the first of June I will post my results and see if there is any difference god I hope so. The weather is being crazy right now but last weekend was good enough to clean my yard. Tomorrows forecast snow lol. I really would just like it to get warm already!!!
Ok well I am off to read how all your weekends went bye for now.!

How do you spell HYPOCRITE???

So I am avoiding work right now but need some advise from you guys on here and I am in a bit of a delema ssssoooo...
I have been thinking a lot about my schooling I am about half way done the plane was to get a major in social and criminal justice and become a juvenile probation officer, well the only problem with that is in our small town we already have one he is not great (I know thanks to my son) but never the less he has the job so I was thinking are you kidding me I just spent all this money and now what and I have also thought about quitting school all together but I actually like school so didnt want to do that. So my youngest son has been acting out a lot more than usual and the school has told me before just let us handle it so in the past I have but now feel something different needs to happen so I called out counseling office yes the same one I bailed on to see what they could do. Most of their counselors are full main reason I got stuck with the one I did but I meet with someone yesterday. He specifically said I dont deal a lot with children but I will help and do what I can. WTF geez man here I am trying and there is not even help available for me??? so I called my AA today and was talking with him. He suggested that I do this approach. Major in Social and Criminal justice AND either psychology or sociology. This way I have more options for jobs. I poked around their catalog a bit and think sociology would be my best bet but NOW I am having a HUGE moral issue how do I help people when I am probably as messed up if not more than them?? Am I again wasting my time. Why am I so compelled to go to school to help people if my life is one big pile of shit??? I really need some advise cause I have always wanted to help kids catch it before they are adult prison inmates but my own kids in the system so if I cant fix mine why should I be paid to fixes others??/ Is any of this making sense to anyone else even? Input would be greatly appreciated thanks in advance

It's over???

So about a month ago my girls started watching Make it or Break it on Netflixs it aired on ABC family a few years ago. They only did 3 seasons and they should have done more. This show reminded me how much I loved gymnastics the 3 whole months I got to do it when I was younger. What hard work and dedication it took to just go as far as I did. We finished the last episode last night I wish there were more shows like that for children to watch it sent such a great message. Now I have to find something else to watch while I am waiting for the new season of Vampire Diarys to start lol. Oh and I bought a timer from the store yesterday got home and it wont work so I will take it back and hopefully start my training workout tomorrow! take care all

Hi everyone

So I am back vegas sucked ass. It was so cold the wind was blowing so hard all the time. Stupid me did not pack clothes for it so I had to buy some while I was there. We had lots of fun at the wax museum and the body excibite was CRAZY and we got to get away and spend so time with each other so I guess that was the high light since the weather wasnt. I ate so much and drank twice as much while we were there and ever since I have been back I feel so hungry and end up eatting a ton. this mornign I was 149.2 WTF when I left I was 142.3 god I am so gross!!!
So I have a little bit of money coming back from my excess school funds and I am going to do this boot camp thing that is done by a female body builder that lives here. It starts May 20th. It cost $200.00 and last 5 weeks but I am really excited I know a few people that have had amazing results and took away awesome exercises that helps them maintain their weight loss if they stick with it and for $200.00 you can bet your sweet ass I will be! Today I made me a circuit training work out I have to do something with myself so we will try this. I have about 4 pairs for pants that I have purposely bought to small over the last year thinking that would give me incentive to get skinny so I have told myself that if they do not fit by the end of this boot camp thing in the middle of june I will sell them and just face the facts that I am fat and will probably remain that way till I die. Not much else is going on I am way busy at work since I missed 4 days last week so I better get back to work just want to say hi. :) talk to ya all later!

Lots to do no time to do them and I am still fat

lol wow I leave Monday. I can not decide what to pack and I hate not having things done early. I still have to do my homework for next week so all i will have to do is post it when I get home thursday and instead I am here and on FB playing guess my word lol. The weather has changed alot since I booked our trip and it looks like laying pool side in 90 degree weather is out just my luck but on the other hand it will be 40 degrees warm than where I live so I think I can still manage some pool time!
Yesterday I had a huge binge fest I made myself sick it was so bad. but could never find time or privacy to purge so I took 4 colon cleansing tablets and am hoping for the best. God I still have tons of laundry, house cleaning, packing for me and my children, one more tan session, and school work to do all by 8:00 monday morning. Ok I am off to do something productive probably write more later.

P!nk - Just Give Me A Reason ft. Nate Ruess

I love Pink. I swear she has a window to my world and releases songs at just the right moment for me lol. I know stupid thought but I really do love all of her songs!! I have heard this song every time I have gotten in my truck today. I am in love with the lyrics and swear this could be written for me and my hubby. I love the line I'm not broken just bent. I will tell myself this from now on! you can straighten bent but there is always a crack in broken.

Have to ask

Is anyone else having trouble seeing the Blogs they are following? It is really starting to piss me off. I hated this new lay out the first time found a way to change it and then they fixed it so we all had to have it again. I really hate change (unless it is my weight going down lol) and then when the change doesnt work right it really makes it worse. Am I doing something wrong is it just me? HELP lol

Why cant I just get it

I consider myself a some what bright intelligent person. I have my issues but over all I think I get it in the brains department so WHY is the number on the scale my unicorn. I mean when I buy clothes I am not shopping in the plus size section. depending on the store (which really gets to me lol) I wear a 28-29 or 3-7. I know I will never be a size zero I do not even have that size as a goal. mine is all about the number on the scale I see 140 anything and feel like the Pillsbury dough boy. Me and my 14 year old daughter wear almost the same size in pants. she is just a little smaller than me and in shirts since she was gifted with boobs from where i dont know lol. I wear a smaller shirt than her. I do not think she is fat in any way so why do I see myself as fat. huge jumbo thunder thighs that shake the ground when I walk?? Also I hate myself almost every morning, the night before I will have these big plans to exercise for a certain amount of time. I plan the work out then my alarm goes off at 4:30 and some days if I do get up it is after I have hit snooze 3 or 4 times so then I have to cut my work out short and I bitch at myself all day for not getting my fat lazy ass up and working on fixing my problem I would rather lay there and collect more fat cells. I try and reason some sense into myself but I still end up with the same conclusion all the time. Then I wonder what is it that I want exactly. What weight what size what measurements would make me happy. and for being 5 ft 8 inch 35 years old with 3 full term pregnancies (one was twins) I cant except to look like a VS model can I.. Sorry for my babble I just am sick of this thoughts that I can not make any sense of and I should be able to.

I know we all have these crazy thoughts about perfection what do you do to suppress them or work though them