WOW two months have gone by again. I did get on here a while ago but got caught up in superskinny vs supersize (lol thanks kate) and other you tube post and before I knew it I had to get some work done so had to log out. Lets do an update.
So filed my taxes on the 15th just like every student was suppose to and I used H&R Block well after 17 years that will never happen again. I was one of the thousands that got their returns messed up and it too eight weeks to get it. I was really stressed and pissed by the time I got it. One of my New Years Resolutions was to start counseling again. I was actually pretty excited thought I would get the help I needed and thought maybe after 35 years of being messed up I could see that I did not need to live like this. So the only counselor that was available was a young just out of school girl. My first session started with her telling me my rights as a patient her responsibilities as a counselor basically everything the lady at the front desk did just took her longer. Then we did a brief and when i say brief I mean brief history. I was not an open book maybe I should have been but hey that is one of my issues. So I think we maybe got to age 12-13 and of course I was not going into great detail as it was. When I left I was a little disappointed but thought this will get better as time goes. We will have more time next week and things will start looking up. So next week came and all the sudden she wanted to start doing all these emotion exercise and stuff, i thought hey slow down you still know nothing about my life you never asked me if I was ever on drugs or if I had ever been molested and if so how many times. (not that I would have told her everything anyways). How can you help someone if you know nothing about them??? Maybe part of it was my fault maybe I should have let my walls down and just let it out but I cant. So that session was my last. I hate myself for not going but I just felt like I was not a classic text book case and she would have never gotten it.
My life is still full of ups and downs. We are trying to remold our house it is all tore apart and we are doing nothing to put it back together it is driving me crazy. Hubby and I are our usual selves we look like the perfect couple but behind closed doors it is another story. and I swear he just keeps pushing my buttons to see how much I can take before I break and I have broke often.
A positive note my oldest son graduated from high school last thursday. he is the first one out of 3 older kids to do this I am very proud of him!! My step son is still sitting in county jail waiting to go to prison it is really stressing him out and he calls his dad crying all the time. it is hard because there is nothing we can do for him. no amount of money will save him. it is hard to deal with.
It is time for hubby and my annual trip he picked vegas again. So we are going on the 15th of April and since it will be really warm I choice to stay at the Hard Rock for their pools. I am not very savoy on the lay out and the more research I do the more I think we screwed ourselves and stuck us in the middle of nowhere. I will hear about that forever now. So I have been trying to get my bikini body on and I can not get below 140 why why cant I since my twins have been born I have never been able to do this it drives me freakin crazy!!! I still have 15 days to work my ass off so maybe who knows. I will not be as tan as I would like also cause I did not realize how seen our trip was when I bought my package. days just go to fast for me.
School is still going ok I am in a lot of my criminal justice classes now and am really liking them. I just hope that someday I can find a job where this schooling pays off.
My twins have been up since 6 am to see their baskets and look for eggs they are now bored and jacked up on candy and hard boiled eggs lol. I think I am going to lock myself in my bathroom take a long hot bath and hope they do not kill each other hahaha. Happy easter all I will check in more and need to catch up on more blogs. Wish you all the best today!
