What a day

I am so unsure anymore it all started friday night...We went out with some friends and I was talking to this guy that I have known forever anyways we were talking about kids marriage just life in general this b-day thing is really kicking my ass this year. anyways his wife is always going somewhere without him or their boys. She takes "girl" trips to vegas, oregan ect. and I made the comment that I envy her for getting to do that. shit I barely go to the movies with my girl friends cause for some reason it just doesnt feel right to me. and he said why dont you take time for yourself then he asked me who are you. I looked at him for a moment and said I dont know. since I was 17 years old I have been a wife to someone and a mother. thats who I am. He said you need to find yourself because someday your children will be grown and your husband is not a guarantee either. So all weekend I just keep thinking to myself...Who am I. sad thing is I dont know and I dont know how to find myself. It kinda reminded me of the movie run away bride with the egg scene except I dont even know where to start looking. It seems odd to me also that in just a few weeks I will be 35 and really I am a nobody. When do people find themselves how did I miss this what I am now thinking is a very important part of life and how is this goin g to effect me in the future? Is this one reason why I am never happy longer than a few hours? I really should just stop thinking about what he said and put it behind me but I cant. Sorry for my psycho babble it is just really bothering, and maybe I am also bothered because my husband now has never let me feel ok with having a me moment. He does things. He goes hunting, drinking with his buddies I mean really anything he wants to do he does it. why do i feel not ok when I even think about it? I am so lost.