Thanks

Thanks for the kind comments and the great welcome back. It is really good to know there are people in the world that miss you when you are gone and care when you come back. It is funny it is what everyone strives and longs for but it seems to only happen in internet land. I wounder why that is. Are we so busy with our day to day real world lives and we take the fact that if we can see someone they that is enough recognition for them for granted? I think I am going to work on that more. I am going to say I to people even if I see them more than once a day.and maybe even make a good comment or two to them.

So yesterday after I got done writing my post I was sitting at my desk doing some thinking. I was wishing that I was just not so sad all the time. I was wondering why I have become this sad. Nothing major has really happened. I mean lots of stuff in the last few months yea, but I was sad before then and maybe if I wasnt so sad I would have not spiraled out of control so much. So I deiced that instead of wishing and thinking that I would actually take action. I thought I would call our local counselors office and see how much counseling is. I thought that I would pay for a few months up front so that I would not back out on going or just stop doing if it got to bad. I have a habit of doing things like that. So I called the office and asked how much is a counseling session if you do not have insurance, because I do not? The lady on the other end said well we do off of income in you have no insurance, but you will need your whole households income. OK here is were I always get screwed. legally me and the man I refer to on here as "hubby" are not married. I can not get any benefits like insurance or stuff like that but I have to claim him on everything I do??? We own property together ect. So again I asked the lady after hearing this news, so what is the max you charge. She said $120.00 I said $120.00 really she said yes an hour. So here is why I am mad. More than likely I will get charged the max or really close to it because I have to claim hubbies income also can get on his insurance and frankly with the price of everything under the sun going up I do not have an extra $480.00 just lying around a month, so it looks like help is out of the question. and dont get me wrong I dont want something for nothing I just think that if on one hand I have to claim everything about him then I should get  insurance and stuff. It is so frustrating I want help I want to get better I want to be happy but again if I try to do something good some evil fores tares me down. I really just want to walk in that office and ask them what the hell is costing so much. I mean you sit in a chair looking at someone for 50-60 mins suggesting different options of life to them right? I mean at least went you go to the dentist and get raped by charges you walk out of there with really good drugs and been on laughing gas the whole time. God why me!!!